How to be Happy After Divorce
Welcome to the Newly Single Life
When you got married, you never thought you’d have to deal with the tumultuous reality of divorce. No matter what the circumstance was that brought about the end of your marriage, there is hope. Whether things were amicable or there is still an abundance of raw emotion such as anger or resentment attached to the very thought of your ex-partner, it is important to open the door to healing. You may be wondering how you are going to manage everything on your own. If you have children, you worry about how they are going to take alternating homes each week or only seeing one parent on the weekends.
The finality of what you thought would last a lifetime has come blasting through your reality like a freight train and the whole ordeal has likely made you sadder than you have ever been. With loss and change comes sadness. It’s ok to be sad after going through something as emotionally taxing as divorce.
Get to Know Yourself Again
You are divorced. It happens to a lot of people. Just because you are divorced does not mean you have to stop living. It’s expected to be sad, cry, or even scream and yell. Whatever it takes to process your emotions, that is okay. With your new reality comes a newfound sense of freedom. Your options for experiences in life have just opened up, no matter how scary or daunting that may seem right now. Underneath the discomfort of all these terrifying emotions lies growth.
The time is now to take back all those dreams you put aside for your marriage. Remember all those adventures and new places you wanted to go before married life took over. What is stopping you from booking that ticket now? Who cares if you can’t find anyone to go with you. Go alone.
When was the last time you spent quality time with yourself? When was the last time you had the luxury of having the time to simply read a book? Here’s an idea, the bigger the adventure, the longer the flight, the more time you will have to read that book.
Take a solo camping trip. Depending on where you live, you might have everything that you need on Facebook, Craigslist, or other apps where people sell their “gently used” camping gear. Take the time to educate yourself on what tents, sleeping bags, and cooking equipment work the best for where you want to go.
Buying less costly gear will allow you to have money to take some basic outdoor skills classes or seminars. Who knows, you may even surprise yourself with how well you do.
What self-care looks like for individuals is fluid. There are innumerable ways to practice self-care. Every person’s definition of self-care may not be the same. However, everyone can agree that self-care involves showing oneself a bit of grace while going through the transformation from married to single. For most, self-care means actively practicing self-love through action.
Yoga practice is a good way to show yourself both love and grace. Yoga does not mean twisting your body into some unreasonable shape, doing the splits, or even balancing on one foot. Simply put, yoga is time that you spend with yourself. Yoga is not a competition. It is an individual experience. You don’t need a mat and you don’t need all the matching attire. Put on some comfy clothes that you can stretch in, find yourself a spot on the floor and do the poses that suit you.
Youtube is a wonderful tool if you want the feel of being with a yoga instructor but not the feel of being in a yoga studio. This format allows you to practice along while having an example of form and hearing body alignment cues.
There are several apps such as AloMoves, The Daily Burn, and Gaia to name a few that have monthly subscriptions. The benefit of having a subscription to a website is that there are multiple levels and genres of yoga that are offered by a variety of yoga instructors.
Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. You can practice self-care by treating yourself to lunch, attending a concert, or planning a movie night with some friends. It can also be as simple as taking a hot bath, allowing yourself a dessert from your favorite restaurant, or hiking your favorite trail. Take the time to consider what activities may bring you some solace in this difficult time.
Finding yourself in the aftermath of divorce is a difficult and disheartening experience. You may feel that you are pawing around an immensely dark, endless void. Feeling of sadness, anxiety, or depression that you have never experienced before may be creeping into your psyche. These issues can, at times, feel overwhelming or debilitating. It is okay to reach out and ask for help. Not having all the answers or knowing what to do next allows for openness to new ideas. If you do not know or understand how to give yourself grace and understanding, now is the time to learn. It is time that you learn how to show yourself love, compassion, and understanding in all situations. Now is the time to get to know yourself on a deeper level. At Achieve Medical Center we offer wellness services that are tailored to benefit your mind, body, and spirit. Call today for more information, (619) 375-3977.