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How to Sit With Anger and Be Okay


No matter where we turn, there is always something to be angry about if you let yourself. Whether it is disagreements with others or bad news from around the world, anger can consume your thoughts. Just throw a dart in any direction and you can find something to get mad over. 

Anger in an Unpredictable World

On a different note, life happens no matter how much we’d like a break. Loved ones are taken from us suddenly and without warning; a marriage that you thought was rock solid imploded in a matter of months; jobs are lost, homes are burned or flooded, things you used to count on are no more. All these things can build up anger inside you. Without a proper outlet, this can wreak havoc on your life and your mental wellbeing.

While you may seem like a pool of peaceful transition on the surface, there may be anger building inside that you don’t know how to resolve. Before you know it, this emotion begins to sneak into personal and professional interactions. You may feel that nothing seems to ease this feeling. Hopefully, you have enough wisdom and self-control to stop yourself from taking these things out on others. Your words could come out as reactionary, and you may regret them later. When you feel this way, it may be time to assess the anger you feel inside yourself and take steps to relieve it constructively.

The Danger of Holding Onto Anger

In yoga, there is a belief that the energies in your body that are not released manifest themselves in physical and mental ailments. There are scientific principles to back this up. Many studies show that the brain and body are inextricably linked, and holding onto negative emotions like anger can have physical and mental repercussions. Anger can also take a toll on your relationships. Whether anger at someone breaks or damages your relationship with them or anger about something else gets taken out on them, relationships can suffer when one person holds onto anger without dealing with it.

5 Tips and Tricks to Manager Anger

#1. Take a time out. Anger can seep into every aspect of your communication. It can affect how you see the world and the way that you speak to others. The entire emotional experience of anger can be uncomfortable, and living with it just below the surface may cause you to have unprofessional or hurtful outbursts. Nearly any action that is fueled by anger never ends well. Before that happens, give yourself a time out to work through your emotions before continuing interactions with people. It is okay to take a moment to yourself to save some potential heartache or offense.

#2. Pick a place where you feel safe and calm and just be. You can take a walk. Walking allows you to clear your head and notice all the things you never get to see while driving. As you concentrate on the world around you, the feelings of anger may begin to diminish, if not go away altogether. You could also sit by yourself and listen to music or read a book. Maybe you draw, paint, sing, or take a bath. Whatever you feel will be a safe space for you to be by yourself, allow yourself time there.

#3. Deep breathing is an excellent way to self-soothe when anger becomes overwhelming. As you engage in deep breathing, you can calm your sympathetic nervous system. This is the part of our brain that regulates anger and anxiety. With each deep inhalation, you tell your brain that you can relax and let go of the consuming emotion you are experiencing at that moment. 

#4. Exercise and physical movement are excellent ways to deal with anger issues. Each time you exercise, your brain sends feel-good chemicals to your body. These chemicals will help dissipate any negative feelings you might be experiencing. By exercising, you can help your body release tension and promote relaxation, which lowers your blood pressure. You can choose any form of exercise you’d like. You don’t have to run 30 miles to feel better. Try walking around the block or doing yoga. You don’t need anything fancy to do yoga; you don’t even need a mat. Even doing housework is considered exercise! If you have a gym membership, see if there is a Poundfit Class, which is a workout class where you beat on the floor with drumsticks.

#5. Talk to a professional. If anger management is a daily struggle for you, seeking professional help might be beneficial. They can help you talk through things that aggravate you and give you tools to deal with anger when it comes.

Sitting with anger can be one of the most challenging situations you willingly place yourself in and even more difficult when you don’t know any ways to deal with it constructively. Only you know what you need to help keep your anger at bay and direct that negative energy elsewhere. It is not always easy. Some situations will cause you to react before you can stop yourself. That is okay. Patience and practice will help you become less reactionary. Learning how to control your emotions can be frustrating, but there are ways to deal with anger before it becomes a problem. It is okay to ask for help to learn techniques that will assist you in this endeavor. SokyaHealth is here to offer counseling services that will give new tools and methods to handle whatever is thrown at you peacefully. Call us today at 866-932-1767 for more information.

More than 50% of Americans struggle with mental health.

Headlight is now collaborating with health plans and companies to make therapy more accessible and affordable. Speak to a Care Coordinator today.